Thursday, September 6, 2007

A Man Among Boys

Going to the dentist is an interesting experience. It's not a particularly exciting or fun one but it's different. This is mainly because, for God knows what reason, I still go to a pediatric dentist that caters mainly to children who are around the age of six.

So I'm sitting in the waiting room, intermittenly doing my physics homework and reading Green Eggs and Ham (which is just one example of the fine literature offered in this waiting room) until I finally hear someone say "Alex? Is there an Alex here?" I could've sworn I heard a little snort as I walked by the lady calling my name, but I decided to save myself the awkwardness and not say anything. So I'm directed to the picture room where I put on the smiley face flack jacket, put the razor sharp plastic band-aid colored thing in my mouth, and get the thing that could be a giant camera or a mounted long range missile launcher pointed at my head. After that the lady leaves the little room, shuts the door, and leaves me by myself. And now the big I feel nothing, see nothing, and think to myself, was that all necessary?

Now the nurse directs me to the "Land Before Time" chair. I go, and lay down and stare up at the Land Before Time poster until the dentist comes.

Sidenote: How many full-length movies can you make about five cartoon, pre-adolescent dinosaur friends singing and dancing their way through dangerous, dinosaur filled lands while still learning valuable lessons about friendship and growing up? Twelve and counting.

So the dentist comes and the check-up goes fairly normally. Except for the 6 year old two chairs away whispering as quiet as 6 year olds can whisper. So naturally I could hear him loud and clear: "Who's the big kid over there?" You should know that the chair that I'm laying in is made for children of his height, so my feet were sticking out about a foot and a half, so I'm fairly noticeable.

The check-up ends and it's time to get the flouride. In an effort to appeal to young children's tastes the only flavors they offer is chocolate chip cookie dough, oreo milkshake, and chocolate fudge sundae. I pick oreo milkshake because I figure a milkshake was closest to the texture of flouride, so it wouldn't be too bad. I wouldn't suggest it.

To finish up the whole experience the same nurse comes up to me and offers me a prize from the treasure box. She asked in a way like she had to ask, but she thought that she kind of knew it was pointless to ask. I took a couple minutes deciding between the Finding Nemo tatoo and the yellow spider ring. The yellow spider ring won out and I put on my sticker and left.


Anonymous said...

You are my hero, axle

Anonymous said...

pussy you shouldve gotten the nemo tattoo